


Low Hymnal

by yuionass (knottedprince)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Body Dysphoria, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dirty Talk, Dysphoria, First Time, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Smut, Trans Male Character, Trans Yuri Plisetsky, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 09:55:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10988526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knottedprince/pseuds/yuionass
Summary: Otabek and Yuri are having penetrative sex for the first time, when Otabek accidentally says something that triggers Yuri's dysphoria. Starts out smut, ends with hurt/comfort and cuddling





	Low Hymnal

"Fuck," Otabek breathes as Yuri sinks down onto his cock. He can't believe his boyfriend would let him do this. "You're so wet for me, so tight," he says, and he has to grab Yuri's waist and hold him still for a few moments just so he doesn't come right there.

Yuri grunts ungracefully, shifting his legs so that he's kneeling properly over Otabek. He flips his hair over his shoulder, leaning forward to kiss Otabek as he slowly grinds down onto him.

The movement makes Yuri clench, and they both gasp at the sensation. Yuri begins to move his hips, riding Otabek while they make out. Otabek slides his hands up Yuri's body, stopping just below his breasts.

Otabek breaks the kiss. "Can I touch you here, too?" he asks softly, his fingers brushing the underside of one. Yuri hesitates before nodding.

"Beka, how does it feel?" Yuri asks, and Otabek lets out a soft moan.

"You're so hot, you feel so good on my dick, Yuri. So tight," he says, gently pinching Yuri's nipple. Yuri gives a lewd smile, clenching around Otabek deliberately. Otabek moans, his hand moving to clutch at his boyfriend's waist.

"You're so big, Beka," says Yuri. "You're stretching me so good. Hitting all my - ahh - sweet spots." Yuri cards his fingers through Otabek's hair before giving it a soft tug. "I want you to talk dirty, Beka, tell me just how good I feel," he says, and Otabek smiles.

Yuri seems to have gained so much confidence since earlier on when he'd shyly undressed, telling Otabek just what he wants to do. Otabek feels so privileged to be able to feel Yuri like this, to touch him like this, so intimately.

"Yura, fuck, the second you took me inside I thought I was gonna come right away. You're the hottest fucking thing, you know," says Otabek.

Yuri encourages him with a groan, and Otabek continues, letting his mouth run with whatever crosses his mind, spewing the filthiest thoughts into words.

Yuri loves it, moaning unabashedly as he rocks back and forth on Otabek's dick.

Otabek knows the rules about wording. He _knows_ what he isn't supposed to say. But he somehow manages to screw up, the wrong word slipping out. "Yura, I can't believe you're letting me fuck your pussy."

He freezes the second the word leaves his lips, the atmosphere shifting to a tense discomfort as Yuri realises. Otabek mentally kicks himself for saying it.

Yuri pales, a betrayed look on his face.  
"Shit, I didn't mean to say that," Otabek begins, knowing all the apologies in the world can't take that word back. An unreadable expression crosses Yuri's face, followed by something like disgust, and he sits up, pulling out of Otabek's lap, and scrambling to get off of the bed. Otabek sits up, a cold weight in his chest.

"Don't," says Yuri coldly, before Otabek could apologise further.  
"Don't say another fucking thing," he finishes, and then leaves the bed, gathering some of his clothes from the floor before disappearing into the bathroom and slamming the door behind him.

Once inside the bathroom, Yuri takes a deep breath, covering his face with his hands. It was no big deal, he tries to tell himself. He could go back into the bedroom and finish having sex with Otabek. But then he feels a weak pulse of arousal, followed by a wave of nausea. He looks around on the floor where he dropped his clothes, scrambling to pull his boxers on, and awkwardly wriggling into his binder as fast as he can.

Yuri shuts the toilet seat, sitting on the closed lid, and starts taking deep breaths, trying to will away the desperate urge to squirm out of his own body.

Opening his eyes, he looks down at himself. With his binder and his boxers on, it isn't as bad. His wide hips still seem accusing. He looks away, wiping at his face when he realises his cheeks were wet.

When he exits the bathroom, Otabek is sitting on the side of the bed, now wearing a pair of boxers and a t shirt. On seeing Yuri, he stands and crosses the room to stand in front of him. Yuri looks at the floor.

"Yura, I am so so sorry for fucking this up," he starts, and Yuri meets his eyes for a moment before raising his arms slightly. Otabek takes the cue, wrapping Yuri in a comforting hug, stroking his back softly.

Yuri stands silently, hugging Otabek tightly. His breathing hitches once, and then he pulls away from Otabek, furiously wiping at his face.

"I hate this," he says in a small voice. He clears his throat, and then repeats himself in his regular voice. "I hate my body. I hate not even being able to have sex with you without feeling this way. I hate that you're the one who has to be sorry, Beka. I'm sorry for ruining this with my stupid..." He sniffs, gesturing vaguely towards his body, still not fully meeting Otabek's eyes.

Otabek kisses Yuri on the cheek and hugs him again before leading him back to the bed. Yuri goes without resistance, sitting down heavily. He looks miserable; pulling the blanket around his shoulders.

"Come on, why don't you make yourself comfortable and I'll make you something hot to drink?" Otabek suggests, and Yuri nods forlornly.

Otabek kisses Yuri's forehead before tucking the covers around him, before going to the kitchen to make tea.

Yuri sits with his knees tucked up until Otabek returns with a hot cup of tea for him. Otabek places the cup on the bedside table before going around to the other side of the bed and slipping under the covers, putting an arm around Yuri's shoulder. Yuri drinks the tea and falls asleep, his arms around Otabek. Otabek dozes off for a few hours, before waking up. He runs his hand over Yuri's back, realising he still has his binder on.

Otabek gently wakes Yuri, helping his sleepy boyfriend to peel off his binder, holding a shirt ready for him to put on afterwards.

Yuri rubs at his eyes sleepily before clambering back into bed, pulling Otabek in after him and aggressively cuddling him. They fall asleep wrapped around each other.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first real attempt at hurt/comfort, hope it's okay! I based Yuri's experience with dysphoria after my own experience but I'm sure it's different for everyone.


End file.
